Sunday, March 16, 2008

#5--Forgive Someone I Have A Grudge Against

Hmm, bad grammar. Regardless.

To "you":
You hurt me deeply. I didn't realize that someone I loved so much could act that way. I always assumed you loved me as much as I loved you, but maybe you never did. But they say you hurt the ones you love, so maybe you actually did. Aside from all that, you hurt me in a way that I will never forget; I'll never forget the way it stung when you said those few simple words as long as I live.
But I forgive you. You are young and probably never realized what you did to me. It's not fair for me to hold this against you, and therefore I won't from here on out.
Sorry for the bad things I may have said to you, and the even worse things I may have said about you to my girlfriends.
Sincerely,
"me"

I let "you" know that the grudge was forgiven, but I'm not sure if "you" even knew there was a grudge to begin with. Ah, well.

2 comments:

Alaina said...

rabble rabble boys rabble rabble

Anonymous said...

Are you Sam or Meris here?

It was very nice. Obviously, this was quite emotional for you and you decided to just jot down the words onto the paper because, it seemed so unlike the Sam that I have been reading. I am sorry as well that "you" hurt you so badly. I didn't know. No, I didn't know. However, this "you" may not have ever even known that you loved him as passionately as you did. Did you ever told him that you cared deeply about him? I know with me, I had a friend and I cared so much about her. Then I told her that she was a child...it was the most dishonest action that I ever took...for I realized even then, that she was not a child. It was then that I realized fully how words can mend friendships...or break them. How words...however limited they could be in our human language, how powerful words can be. The problem was always that, we ASSUMED that we were friends. However, when we both have struggled with friendships in our individual pasts, I realized that we should have actually acknowledged our friendship.

(I apologize for the long comment...I read your post here...I have to stop hiding here...you know who I am...others may not...)

You have taken a strong step towards fully resolving this issue that you have with this person. This is something that I personally should and will learn from on my own time. There is never a time when I saw her around Christmas, that I wanted to tell her something...something happy and festive...you know, it was Christmas...but I didn't. It was too painful. It is still very painful...but I never even knew that we were friends. We were friends before I knew it, and as soon as I knew that we were friends, we were no longer friends. How fair is that? That doesn't seem fair. I didn't even know. And I always pray that if I could take back those terrible and demeaning words that I said to her, I definately would have. She was my greatest teacher. She wanted to be a paramedic and an EMT just like you. Always willing to give a helping hand...she is someone who would love to know more about herself and about how to be the best that she can be.

In a soft and subtle tone at church one time, she mentioned that she helped save a life. Within me, I said "That's Meris!" Just like you Sam, she will. Thank you for the post...and hopefully for this person, they will realize who they are. Don't forget to tell that person, what you just wrote here...they need to hear from you.

Another one down Sam!!!!